Tattoo!

Dear Jacob,

Your Dad got his tattoo yesterday and I love it. We have been talking about getting tattoos since you died but we hadn't really said when we would do it. Yesterday we went downtown, stopped by the gallery to visit Aunty Jessie and then left to go to an art show. Your Dad mentioned that we should go to Queen St instead and look into tattoos. I thought he just meant to look at some of the tattoo places and maybe get a design, but he actually wanted to get one. We stopped at the first place we saw, called Adrenaline, and it seemed like a good, safe place. We designed the tattoo and waited for our turn. I have to admit, I was pretty nervous. Neither of us have any tattoos and I started worrying that your Dad might contract some disease or infection by doing it. I knew I was being silly, but I worry about these things. I asked about their procedures to ensure that doesn't happen and was satisfied with their answers and started to feel calmer about the whole thing.

It didn't take too long for the tattoo to be done and your Dad was brave. It hurt, I could see it that it did and I felt bad for him. I had a glimpse of how he felt when he was watching me in labour, during the very worst part of the pain, and he couldn't do anything other than hold my hand. He told me how helpless he had felt.  I also got emotional when the tattoo artist was working. There was mirror across the room from me and I was amazed at how quickly the pain showed on my face - now I see how Dad can read my emotions so well. I was so sad that we were at a tattoo parlour, getting a tattoo of your name because you died. I was also really touched that your Dad wanted to get the tattoo and he wanted to get it right then.

I want to get one too, but haven't decided where to get it yet. 

I love looking at your Dad's arm. It is so nice to see your name there.  We asked for baby footprints, but didn't specify the size. They showed us these and we realized that they are the same size that your feet were. I look at those little footprints all the time. 

Love you. Miss you alot. Today was a hard, hard day.

Mom