Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The first Tuesday

Usual Tuesdays are especially bad for me, since Jacob was born on a Tuesday at 9am. I usually watch the clock until just after 9am, reliving what was happening during that time on the day he was born (and usually on the verge of tears or actually crying).

I just looked at the clock and realized that it is almost 10:30am and I didn't do it today, I didn't even think about doing it. I just got to work and started working. I never thought that I would have another Tuesday where I didn't go through the ritual of watching the clock and reliving everything. I still have flashbacks all the time, but I'm just really amazed about the change today.

I'm going to call my doctor this afternoon if her office doesn't call me. At my 6 week post-partum appointment, she said to call in 2 weeks if they haven't called with the autopsy results. I feel a little nervous. I think I'll just be disappointed if they don't have them (haven't I waited long enough already? It has been 8 weeks). She said she'd call the hospital if they haven't been received yet and see if she can speed things up.

A friend sent me this video today of a dog and a deer playing. It is so cute.

7 comments:

Julie said...

i hope you find something in the autopsy report that will give some sort of answer.

Angela said...

I am in the midst of where the heck is the autopsy report too. It is so hard not having answers.

Elaine said...

ugh Tuesdays! I'm glad you had a fairly decent one. I guess they will get easier with time.

mommy4boys said...

Tuesdays are generally hard anymore. My first not hard Tuesday was last week. It kind of feels good. I am glad to hear you are embracing the change.
Carrie

Andrea said...

I too would look at the clock around 12:30 on Tuesday and think about the Oliver's birth, but I can say it got much easier with time. I too hope you get the autopsy results back quickly and hope it offers answers.

Melissa said...

I hope that you get some answers soon! Hugs!

Lucid Anne said...

I hate Tuesdays too honey. :( Sigh. <3