I finally got to sleep this morning around 3am. I woke up at 4:30am with my heart racing. I had another dream.
In my dream, I was pregnant, just like I should be now. I was so indescribably happy. I can't remember feeling that happy. I woke up and I still felt that happy. Then I reached down to rub my belly and I felt indescribable despair.
I don't think today is going to be a good day.
5 comments:
Oh, I am so sorry. What an awful way to start the day. Those kinds of dreams are so incredibly cruel. I hope your day might be easier than it started out.
Sometimes the tricks our minds play on us are so cruel. I hope your day is better than it started out. I'll be around if you need to talk! ((HUGS))!!
Oh no! Sometimes dreams are a blessing, other times they are a curse. I'm sorry your day started out like that.
I hope you are able to shake the dream off and have an OK day. Please be gentle on yourself.
((Hugs))
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I do want to thank you though for sharing your thoughts on my blog. They were so honest and so much of what I feel as well. You ARE a mother. It doesn't matter how long Jacob was here for. And just because some people are ignorant or cruel, it does not take away that beautiful honor you have of being the mother to someone so precious. It's hard not to be recognized, but you know the truth. It's harder to be a mother of a baby in heaven. A parent's worst fear has already come true for us and we have to carry on without them, while still be their mommy. And I know what you mean about the whole miscarriage vs infant death and delivery thing... Even this morning, I had someone ask me about my miscarriage. The person even said they read my blog so I was like... uggggggh. We also have to learn that people mean well, but it doesn't always help. I'm thinking about you and praying for you. If you need someone to talk to or vent to, I am here for you!! Love and hugs to you!!!
That reminds me of the dream I had where I gave birth to living Valentina. The joy I had was so incredibly real and gigantic- only to wake up and realize it wasn't real. Oh god, what a devastation.
<3 Thinking of you.
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