Friday, May 20, 2011

April and May 2010

For at least the last half of May, my belly was big enough that I was finding it uncomfortable to sleep. I started putting a pillow under my belly and it made a huge difference. I was also alot warmer than I had ever been. I usually sleep in long pants and long sleeves, but when I was pregnant I was so warm that I wore shorts and a t-shirt. When not pregnant, my hands are usually cold and Ted's are hot. He will often grab my hand to cool his down. But when I was pregnant, my hands were hot and he couldn't hold them because his would be uncomfortably hot. We joked about it alot because it was so strange for me to be that warm.

For all of May, and probably most of April, I would get up 15 minutes earlier than I had to. I would go to the living room, lie down on the couch, turn on Colin and Justin's Home Heist and feel my belly. I'd stare at it, amazed that it was me, that I had a baby growing in there, that I was going to be a Mom. I felt so lucky and I cherished that time. I was so happy.

Colin and Justin have a very distinctive decorating style, usually including wallpaper with big designs. Now, whenever I see wallpaper like that or a piece of furniture that reminds me of the show, I'm taken back. I haven't watched the show since he died. I turned to it by accident once and had to turn the channel right away. It was too painful.

I also feel asleep on the couch for most of May 2010 (and sometimes in April) around 9pm and I loved doing that. I would be in a deep sleep until about 11pm when Ted would get me to go to bed. There was just something I loved about it. I did it a few times after he died, but of course, that was just from the exhaustion of crying most of the day.

1 comment:

Drew's Parents said...

I loved those moments. As painful as they are to remember at times, I am so glad you had them. You can be sure you never took your Jacob for granted <3 He was and always will be loved <3