Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The week of April 26, 2010 - Felt him kick

It was sometime during this week last year that I felt Jacob move for the first time and knew that it wasn't gas. The first time, it felt like a buttefly fluttering in my belly and quickly moved to definite kicks. I hate myself for not knowing the exact day. I didn't record it because I didn't think he was going to die, but I know it was just before 16 weeks.

I always felt him around noon. He'd give me a kick or nudge on my left side near my belly button. What I would give to feel that now and it not be a phantom kick, which I still get occasionally, and even seem to be getting more often lately. I don't want the phantom kicks to stop though, unless it is because I'm actually pregnant again.

I used to sit at my desk, watching the time as it approached noon and waited for his kick or punch. There was the odd day that I didn't get it, but I didn't worry too much because I knew that it was early and movements weren't supposed to be regular yet. As time went on, I started feeling him in the morning and at night too.

I miss him.

4 comments:

Searching for Serenity said...

Baby kicks are one part of pregnancy that is so beautiful and personal. These are good memories to have, regardless of how sad they make you. It means he was real.

Hugs

Elaine said...

I have the same wishes, that I had of kept a record of everything that Blaine did. I didn't even take any belly pics with him because I was so blindly confident that nothing would go wrong. It's comforting to have the memories and I remember relishing in those phantom kicks when I would get them because they were a reminder of what was.

cullensblessings said...

Sending love as always....

Drew's Parents said...

His precious kicks <3 <3 <3 I am so glad that you had those moments with Jacob. I know that they will always have a very special place in your memory. Sending you big hugs!