Then Ted and I went to High Park to see the Cherry Blossoms, which only bloom for a short period of time each year. We parked on a side street and I still remember walking on that street and just appreciating everything that I had. I was so happy to be pregnant. Looking back now, I know that I never did take one second of it for granted.
It was beautiful at the park and Ted took several pictures of me. There was also a little zoo there and we spent some time looking at the animals, particularly the peacocks. I also spent alot of time watching the families and imagining us there with a stroller at the same time next year.
|You can see my belly starting to pop out in|
this picture. It started growing really quickly
from this time on.
This didn't happen on the 24th, but it was sometime in April. In my quest to help the nausea, I always had juice with me. Ted and I bought a 6 pack of Allen's Apple Juice bottles. I grabbed a bottle before leaving the house one day and noticed a weird smell right away. I started looking at the bottle closely and noticed that the juice was really dark, it was leaking and there was something floating in it, which turned out to be a circular piece of mould about an inch in diameter. It was disgusting.
I emailed the company and they sent me a $5 coupon for my next purchase. There hasn't been another purchase of that brand and it took me awhile to be able to drink apple juice out of a bottle again.
April 24, 2011
Yesterday, Ted worked in the backyard and I did stuff around the house until it was time to leave to visit Jackie. I got to her flower shop at 1:30 and didn't leave until 5:15. There were alot of tears and some laughter. The hours just fly by when I'm talking to her. We have so much in common and I feel so comfortable with her. I noticed she had two bunny statues in the cooler with the flowers and she said it is like they are Oscar and Jacob and said that I could take one. I didn't know which one to chose, of course, and wanted her to do it. Then I remembered that I saw a bunny in my backyard twice the day before. He looked more like one of the bunnies, so I chose that one, which worked out well because she saw Oscar as the other one.
|I took the one on the right|
I wanted to bring some daisies home, for Oscar, and she ended up giving me a whole bunch of beautiful flowers, including lilacs (which remind me of Jacob) and roses. I was overwhelmed by how much she gave me. I realized that we haven't had fresh flowers in the house since Jacob died and people sent some to us.
I stopped at the garden on the way home and took this picture:
|Jacob is buried where the flowers are|
I got home with my arms full of flowers and surprised Ted and Sadie. Sadie loved them and ran after me meowing. I got the flowers into vases, which I hadn't unpacked until yesterday, and put them around the house.
|Alot of the gifts I've received for Jacob are in the box|
on the dresser.
When you first find out that your baby has died, you can't see anything good that can possibly come of it. But because of Jacob, I have made some really good friends, and now I've made another. I like to think that I would have met these women in some other way, that we would have met if our babies had lived, but who knows. I like to think that our babies have orchestrated us meeting. That the Mom's I'm friends with are the Mom's of the babies that Jacob is friends with. I feel like I have a glimpse into what he is experiencing, by knowing more about his friends.