Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Support group and this time last year

I went to my first official support group meeting last night and it was good. It was what I hoped it would be. The woman running it, Becky, was great. The 3 other women attending were supportive and we all connected well. We listened to each others stories, cried, asked questions and made comments. It felt good. I was a little worried that it would be awkward. The group is for recurrent loss and infertility. My cycles are very strange, but I haven’t actually gone through fertility treatments yet, so I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in. I have had the least intervention in the group in terms of treatments, but they all had at least one loss and so I didn’t feel out of place.

It is amazing how much pain there is in the world. For the most part, we all walk around looking normal, but below the surface, there is a constant battle going on.

Laurie found this group for me. I am so lucky to have so much support in my life.

As for what was happening last year at this time, I got an email from my boss on April 19, 2010.
I sent him an email saying that I needed to take Thursday, the 22nd off as a vacation day (for the home inspection). He wrote back and said "Sure, Mom". It made me smile then. It makes me smile now.

I'm not sure when it was exactly in the pregnancy (mid-April I think), but my hair started getting more body and I was very happy about that. I also had some stomach issues before I got pregnant. Sometimes I'd eat dinner, then feel sick after for no apparent reason. When I got pregnant, that stopped. I am lactose-intolerant, but when I was pregnant, I could eat milk products without having to take any of the lactose pills (which I wasn't doing because I didn't take any pills except vitamins). All of those things have come back since losing Jacob. My hair still has a bit more body that it did, but the stomach problems are back and so is the lactose intolerance.

My breasts were also getting bigger and bigger. And they hurt more and more. In bed, I ended up putting a facecloth between them because it just made things alot more comfortable.

We were nervous at this point last year. We had just made the offer on the house and there was some back and forth to negotiate the price before it was final. We were nervous about having a higher mortgage and selling the condo. But things were so good. We were so excited about Jacob.


LauraJane said...

:) These memories are so great, takes you back to a happier time.

It's funny about how your intolerance to milk went away while pregnant- I've never heard that before, but what a great side effect!

I'm glad you're finding support where you need it. I'm thinking I might want to do something too, but I'm not sure. i think group support is much more up my alley than a one-on-one counsellor is. :)

Becky said...

I am so happy you found a support group. I really like my grief support group as well.

Elaine said...

We went to a support group too for awhile. I found it to be somewhat beneficial, my hubby though really "enjoyed" it. I use enjoy but you know what I mean. I have all of you but he doesn't really have any friends to talk to about it so it helped him to be around other Dad's. As supportive as friends and family can be it's helpful to be around people who have walked in your shoes. I know what you mean about "not fitting in." I was afraid people wouldn't really take my loss as seriously because Blaine was so young. That's not the case though. I think we Mom's especially realize a loss is a loss.

Drew's Parents said...

I am so glad that the support group was helpful. <3 I so enjoy reading everything you were experiencing last year with Jacob. It makes me feel even closer to you both! <3
You are a beautiful mommy <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said...

I am so glad the group meeting went well... thinking of you always...