I went to my first official support group meeting last night and it was good. It was what I hoped it would be. The woman running it, Becky, was great. The 3 other women attending were supportive and we all connected well. We listened to each others stories, cried, asked questions and made comments. It felt good. I was a little worried that it would be awkward. The group is for recurrent loss and infertility. My cycles are very strange, but I haven’t actually gone through fertility treatments yet, so I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in. I have had the least intervention in the group in terms of treatments, but they all had at least one loss and so I didn’t feel out of place.
It is amazing how much pain there is in the world. For the most part, we all walk around looking normal, but below the surface, there is a constant battle going on.
Laurie found this group for me. I am so lucky to have so much support in my life.
As for what was happening last year at this time, I got an email from my boss on April 19, 2010.
I sent him an email saying that I needed to take Thursday, the 22nd off as a vacation day (for the home inspection). He wrote back and said "Sure, Mom". It made me smile then. It makes me smile now.
I'm not sure when it was exactly in the pregnancy (mid-April I think), but my hair started getting more body and I was very happy about that. I also had some stomach issues before I got pregnant. Sometimes I'd eat dinner, then feel sick after for no apparent reason. When I got pregnant, that stopped. I am lactose-intolerant, but when I was pregnant, I could eat milk products without having to take any of the lactose pills (which I wasn't doing because I didn't take any pills except vitamins). All of those things have come back since losing Jacob. My hair still has a bit more body that it did, but the stomach problems are back and so is the lactose intolerance.
My breasts were also getting bigger and bigger. And they hurt more and more. In bed, I ended up putting a facecloth between them because it just made things alot more comfortable.
We were nervous at this point last year. We had just made the offer on the house and there was some back and forth to negotiate the price before it was final. We were nervous about having a higher mortgage and selling the condo. But things were so good. We were so excited about Jacob.