Saturday, April 9, 2011

April 9, 2010 - My first ultrasound

My first ultrasound was supposed to be on April 8th. We got home from work the night of the 7th and there was a message that the ultrasound tech wouldn't be in the next day, so we could come in on the 9th at 2:30 instead. I was disappointed as I couldn't wait to see the baby.

I have some emails that I sent and received on the 8th. I told my sister Jessie that I still didn't feel that great in the afternoon/night and I liked to get home right after work before I felt worse. Jessie said that she told her work colleagues about the baby. She said had been waiting for the 3 month mark, but it had been hard. I told her that I was kind of nervous about telling my boss because I had only been in the department for 8 months, even though I'd been with the same company for 12 years.

April 9, 2010 was such a great day.  Unfortunately Ted couldn't come to the ultrasound, so I took a late lunch and went on my own. 

I went to the ultrasound clinic at Yonge & Eglinton where I had been before. I liked the guy who does the ultrasounds. He let me see the screen the whole time he was doing the ultrasound, which I later discovered was unusual. It was so amazing when I saw Jacob on the screen. As he put the wand on my belly, I stared at the screen and suddenly, there was my baby. I don't think I can even describe the feeling. It was somewhere between disbelief and sheer joy. Any problems or concerns I had melted away when I saw my little baby moving all over the place. He was so active and was moving around constantly. He was moving his arms up and down, moving his legs up and down and kept stretching his neck by pushing his head back. I'm pretty sure I saw him open his mouth too. He just took my breath away.

This ultrasound was for the IPS screening. When it was done, the tech (I think his name is Mario), started filling out the form. When he got to the part that asked how many fetuses there were,  he wrote one and then said to me "you just saw one, right?" I said that I thought so. Then he said he had a few minutes before his next patient, so he could scan me some more if I wanted so I could watch the baby for a few minutes. I loved him for that. I could have watched Jacob moving all day. He gave me two pictures.

I got the form and walked next door to get the bloodwork portion done. I was worried when I saw his neck measurement was 2.9. Anything under 3.0 is considered normal. but 2.9 was so close to the cutoff point. On the subway on the way back to work, I kept staring at the pictures. I was totally and completely in love.  I put the pictures in a book in my purse and carried them around for weeks, looking at them several times a day. I went to the lunchroom and called Ted to come there. He came in and we stared and stared at our beautiful baby. Our little miracle.

We decided to tell Phil, our mutual friend and colleague. So we called her and told her to come to the lunchroom. When she walked in, I had his pictures on a newspaper and told her to come over to look at something. She noticed the ultrasound pictures right away and hugged both of us and was really excited.

When I look back on my life, this was one of the best days. I got to see my baby for the first time. I felt pure happiness.


LauraJane said...

I took photos of my ultrasounds on my cellphone so I could show them off & look at them all the time. I have so many u/s photos, and not nearly enough of him while he was alive. :(

I'm glad the ultrasound tech gave you so much time to see Jacob, such a special time. :)

fireworksandrainbows said...

I hope you are having a good day. I never understood why u/s techs have such a God complex about who gets to see the screen and what they discuss with you.

As I approach Xavier's 6 month birthday tomorrow (and his deathaversary on the 12th, I too keep re-running happy snippets through my mind.

cullensblessings said...

I have a whole file where I combined my ultrasound pictures.. they became even more precious to me in the months after...
I'm thinking of you....

Becky said...

My way of telling people at work also was to bring my u/s pics to work. I asked my boss if she wanted to see some pictures. Those were definitely happier times.