Miscarriage

My doctor thinks I have had a miscarriage. Two babies lost in one summer.

I called at 9am today and the nurse said my hCG level dropped from 83 on August 24 to 50 on August 26 and that my doctor was in her office going over the results when I called. She asked if I wanted to know if my doctor thinks that it is related to my last pregnancy or if it is related to a new pregnancy (of course I did). She said she would check with her. So I waited for the next 6 hours for her to call me back. Finally, I called the nurse and when I said my name, she said "Oh yes" and promptly told me what my doctor said. She had probably known for hours. I wish she had just called sooner.

Anyway, she said that because it has been more than 10 weeks since I had Jacob, they think the bleeding and the elevated hCG is from a new pregnancy. So, just because I needed to hear it, I confirmed that that  meant that I had a miscarriage on August 20 and she agreed. I have to get another blood test done in a week, which means I have to go back in that office and pick up the requisition. The last visit there was tough and now I have to do it again. It's not going to happen today.

I have cried alot since confirming that it was a miscarriage. I suspected it all along, but I kept hoping that I was actually pregnant. I know early miscarriages are fairly common, but losing 2 babies in less then 3 months just makes me wonder what is wrong with my body. And now I have 2 angels in heaven. One was more than enough.

I hope my hCG level goes down in time for us to have a chance in September.

We got the keys to the house today. It just wasn't supposed to be this way. I should be celebrating. Instead I just have even more to be sad about. Today is 3 months since I found out Jacob died.