Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Today

Today I was in a bookstore with Ted. I was looking at some books and suddenly realized that I was rubbing my belly and it brought me right back to being pregnant with Jacob and rubbing my belly in exactly the same way. I could feel it in a way that I haven't felt it since losing him. It felt good and brought me some peace. It made me realize that I really did rub my belly enough when I was pregnant. That I did it all the time. Of course it has made me sad too. Ted didn't notice me doing it and I don't want to talk to him about it and make him feel sad too.

3 comments:

Missy said...

Sharing the sadness with you and sending love~

Jennifer said...

I guess we unconsciously develop habits like these. Our pregnancies were really part of our bodies, just as our babies were. Sometimes I feel phantom kicks in my belly. It's a weird feeling but I guess it's my body remembering Kai with me. Lots of hugs and love to you. <3

Drew's Parents said...

I love what Jennifer said about our bodies remembering our babies just as our minds and hearts do. So beautiful, and I think so true. Jacob will always be a part of you. You share a connection like no other. Sending you big hugs <3 <3 <3