March 12, 2010

One year ago today, the Ontario Legislature Interns came to my office for a visit. My employer is a sponsor of the OLIP programme, so we have them come every year and explain what we do and then have lunch after. I coordinate the visit with the interns and everyone at work who participates.

The visit went well. I felt sick the whole time, but I didn't have to run out of the room.A picture was taken of the group. I wasn't visibly pregnant yet and no one at work knew. The picture was in our quarterly magazine and I look at it occasionally. I study my face carefully for the person I used to be. I study my belly, even though you can't see a bump.

At the lunch after, I got my vegetarian meal and felt better when I was eating, as I almost always did. It would only last a few minutes, but it was nice when it happened.

I don't remember much else from that day. I'm sure I went home and crashed on the couch, as always. Ted would have made dinner. I probably threw all or half of it up after. Then I probably fell asleep on the couch until Ted woke me up to move to the bed.

Yesterday I got some Premium Plus crackers out of the cupboard and had a flashback to being pregnant. I would often wake up in the middle of the night starving. I'd get up, grab 4-5 crackers and stand in front of the living room window or den door and watch the traffic while I ate them, thinking about the baby in my belly. It was the only time that I didn't feel nauseous at all, which figured since I had to go back to bed after. It was nice though and I miss those times.