Monday was Family Day in Canada and Ted and I had the day off. We went to a movie and then went to the garden to visit our boy. I feel funny saying that, as if we only visit him when we are at the garden. I feel like Jacob is with me all the time, but the garden is where his ashes are. It was freezing yesterday so we didn’t stay for a long time. There was recent snow on the ground and someone had walked to where we usually stand when we go there. I wondered if someone had come to visit Jacob, or were the footprints from the other family at the church that lost their little boy, who is buried close to Jacob?
As we were standing there, silently, Ted noticed a tiny bird in the tree that Jacob is buried under. It was a little brown bird right in the center. There are no leaves on the tree and the bird was well camouflaged and protected. I wondered if it was a sign from Jacob. I’ve never seen a bird in a tree like that before, but I haven’t really looked either. Then I thought of Angela and Charlotte, her little bird.
Then I thought of the weekly company newsletter that my coworker sends out every Wednesday. She had requested photos from everyone from the long weekend for Wednesday's edition. I said to Ted that if we had taken a picture of both of us in front of the tree and added the caption “Dana and Ted visit their son Jacob’s resting place”, it probably would have been rejected. Too depressing.
When I got to work on Tuesday, I told my coworker about the photo we could have submitted and we laughed (I know, a bit of black humour) about it, knowing that a photo and caption like that wouldn’t have been allowed to run. Such is the life of a BLM. We have pictures of our baby, but few people want to see them.