Monday, January 17, 2011

The test

Today I am getting the hysterosalpingogram

I am a little nervous about going to the hospital today. I'm not that nervous about the test, but I'm nervous about just being at the hospital because it is a Monday. It was a Monday that I found out that Jacob died and I went from the doctor's office to the hospital for the ultrasound and then I was admitted.

Today I will be going to my doctor's office to get the requisition form and then walking over to the hospital, just as I did on May 31st.

I want to stop associating new events with past events, but I can't seem to. I was saying this to Ted last night and he said to look at today as a new beginning, as part of the next baby's story, which it really is.

I am trying to do it.  Why is it so hard to do?


Courtney said...

Wishing you all the best Dana.

I associate the past with the future as well. I just can't stop myself from doing it even though I'm truly working on it.

Sheri said...

Hospitals still bother me. I remember going back to meet the geneticist for the test results a few months after delivering Olivia. Being in his office triggered horrible memories of the day they told us the news, and I completely lost it. Until we have a happy memory, it will be hard to go to a hospital and NOT think about it.

Take care and good luck!

Elaine said...

I've never been a big fan of hospitals and now I dread them even more. I think it's natural to associate the present with the past because those events in the past were crucial ones in your life. I do the same thing.
Good luck today Dana! I'll be praying for you and Ted. You're right, this is the beginning of the journey to your next little one! <3