Sunday, January 16, 2011

Progress....and then back to the old way.

On Friday and Saturday, I felt stronger than I have felt in awhile.  I even had a glimpse of my old self. I joked around with people. I went to a movie and managed to pay attention to the whole thing.

But not today. Today I have been on the verge of tears, or actually crying, for most of the day. I start crying while I wash dishes, fold laundry, walk around aimlessly.

I feel so incomplete.

8 comments:

My New Normal said...

So sorry you're feeling down today. It's been 5 months for me and I'm still having my up days and my down days. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better one.

Courtney said...

Oh my dear sweet Dana, I swear we are on the same wave length. I have been feeling great then today, bam, so incredibly blue.

Sending you so much love & peace my friend.

Laura said...

Hi, I've been reading your blog for a while, but haven't commented before. I just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel. I had a whole week recently where I didn't cry and kind of felt "pre-loss normal". And then just a few days ago, it came crashing down again. I'd like to reassure you that it will get better, but I don't really know if that's true. So instead, find comfort in knowing that others are thinking of you and hoping you find peace.

Melissa said...

I have been feeling that way this weekend too, and it's so frustrating after having a glimpse of your old self isn't it? Just when I start to feel good, something causes the grief to come crashing in again. I know I'll have that feeling again but it's so hard. Hugs to you Dana!

Elaine said...

I've had a rough day today too. Been crying over everything! Maybe there's something in the air. It's good you were able to catch a glimpse of old Dana. Those moments will come more often and last longer eventually. But there will always be days like today, even years from now I think.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and sending you love. Try to remember you are not alone on this journey.

With love,
Gillian

LetterstoClaire said...

MAybe there is something in the air-- this weekend has been one of the most terrible I've had in awhile. Everything and anything brings me to tears, I can't pull myself out of the grief. When this happens, I follow my husbands advice for when I had to go back to work, "just get through the hour. If the hour is too much, get through the minute." For weeks I literally sat at work said, "it's 7, i can make it till 8. It's 8, i just need to make it to 9." This weekend was one of those where I was barely able to make it minute-by-minute. I hope next week treats you better.

Sheri said...

Give yourself time, some days will be easier than others. Some days you won't want to get out of bed or be around anyone. Don't push yourself too hard, no one expects you to be a hero.

Sending you a big hug! :)