I have many regrets. Too many to count. Last night a new one came up. I thought I had already thought of them all.
I was lying in bed on my back and looking at my belly and remembering what it looked like with Jacob in it. Regret overwhelmed me that I didn't take any pictures of my belly when I was lying down. The outline of my uterus was so clear. I looked at it so often. But I never took a picture of it. Not one.
I told Ted what I was thinking and started crying. He said that I didn't expect Jacob to die so I didn't take the pictures. I didn't expect him to die, but why didn't I take the pictures just to document the pregnancy? What was wrong with me? Why didn't I do it? I enjoyed looking at my belly so much, but I didn't take one picture of it while lying down.
I can still remember what it looked and felt like, but how long will I remember?