I had a very nice dinner with a new friend tonight. Three hours went by so quickly. I feel like I have known her for a long time, but I don't think that it has even been a month. I was so glad to meet with her tonight, since today is a significant day and I knew I would just come home and listen to baby loss music, which isn't always a good idea. I did hear "If I Die Young" on the radio on the way to dinner tonight, which was nice. I'm always scanning the stations just hoping for that song.
Today is doubly sad. Jacob's anniversary and thinking of what was happening this time last year. I was pregnant with Cub. I thought Cub was probably OK. I was worried, but hopeful. We only had one good week left together before the bad news was delivered.
And today I would have been 20 weeks and 5 days pregnant with the twins, just as I was with Jacob the day he was born (I'm not keeping track of where I should be that closely, but the pregnancy app on my ipod told me that today is that day).
I did a video reading 2 blog posts as part of Angie's Still Life With Circles spoken word blog hop, but I can't get the video to load, so I'll have to work on that another day.
Ted had to have dinner tonight with a group of coworkers, which normally isn't bad. But one of them is about 7-8 months pregnant and he said there was a lot of belly rubbing and baby talk going on and it was really hard. I feel so badly for him. He has to work with this woman all day tomorrow too. I hate to think of what he is going through. He told me that on the way to the conference he is at, he thought a lot about Jacob on the plane, but he wants to write about it on his own blog before he tells me about it, as he just needs to write it down and work through it.
I have to go to bed. I'll be curling up with Jacob's blanket tonight, wishing for the impossible.